May 11, 2015

By Angel Lock

6/21/2016 at 10:26 AM

We are all packed and just about getting ready to leave for Phoenix this morning. I told Chase we could spend the day doing some fun things before his scan tomorrow. I find myself weak this morning and at the verge of tears. I usually don’t fall apart at this point. I have been in prayer this morning and asking God for strength, weakness is not an option… I want to fight against the fear, anxiety and worry. I was listening to a song this morning that said, “God can turn dust into something beautiful”. Lord today I am dust…make me strong and bring Chase peace and comfort as he has to leave his home once again. I pray that you hold Chase in your loving arms when I have to leave him for his scans. I pray that you whisper words of peace and hold his hand every second I am not by his side. I pray that Chase would be forever rid of the beast we know as cancer.

Saying goodbye to Emma NEVER gets easier. She sees me pack my bags and she panics. I spent the morning rocking her in my arms and assuring her mommy is not going away like last time. Mommy will be home tomorrow. To say it is heart wrenching is not even close to how much her tears brake my heart. I pray Lord, you hold Emma close and constantly remind her how much you love her and how much her mommy loves her, give her peace in knowing that mommy never wants to leave her….not for a moment. Let her find peace and happiness today and allow her to focus on school tomorrow. Please take away her worry for Chase and her anger towards cancer. Lord, I do not want her to be angry at cancer or our circumstances, I pray that she walk with grace and faith.

My heartfelt love to you all. In addition to humbly asking for prayers I also ask that you hug those you love and tell them just how much you love them.

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